Endings and Beginnings and Changes

I attended the wedding of one of my best friends this weekend... I hadn't posted on it sooner, simply because i wasn't quite sure what i should say on the subject. Amanda was - and is - one of the best people i've ever had the privilege of knowing. She brought more happiness into my life in the one year that we were together than most people have ever managed - and the exceptions are notable in their scarcity, and i'm sure that they know who they are. Our time together is still a source of happy memories and occasional nostalgic regrets.

So, it was with no small amount of trepidation that i went to attend her wedding to Greg (i suppose i should learn his last name, huh?) at five-mile hall in Grande Prairie this weekend. I didn't really know what i would feel, nor was i really sure that i belonged there.

What i did feel was, oddly enough, pretty much unmixed, unalloyed happiness for Amanda. As far as i can recall, not a twinge of jealousy, not even one. I saw her take the vows that i had once thought would be to me and could barely contain tears of happiness for her. I guess, in the end, although i still love her, and i always will, her happiness is what makes me happy.

The rest of the wedding was a bit of a surprise, too. There is a whole circle of friends that i know through - or related to - Amanda, and i haven't really kept up with any of them over they years. I suspect now that my distancing myself from them - specifically Peggy - was a side effect of the pain of losing Amanda, since my associations with that were so strong, and when she left me, it coloured all of my memories of that time with a layer of hurt.. It's really my loss, because i also remember Peggy being one of the nicest people i knew, and it's obvious from the wedding that some things, at any rate, don't change.

The surprise was mostly, though, in how little i felt out of place. I was concerned - and rightly so, it turns out - that i wouldn't know anybody at the wedding except members of the bridal party, so i was a bit worried that i'd end up sitting in a corner brooding, talking to Char and nobody else all evening - not that talking to Char is a bad thing! ;) Instead, i ended up meeting a couple of very nice couples, and a few individuals with whom Char and i chatted through the whole dinner. I can thank Amy and Clare (I haven't the slightest idea how to spell his name, so that's probably wrong) for starting it off, and then Christie and Scott and Sylvie(a?) and Anthony who joined us later. It was a good night, and there were good people there.

I also had the good fortune of stealing the first dance with Amanda, something that i think surprised her only a little bit more than it did Char ;)

Anyway, Amanda, if you read this at all - and from Pegs' comment on the math line, i know you've at least seen it - be well, and like the card says, seek to bring love into each others' days for all of them.


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