Beau is an interesting person, a study in contradictions from some angles, and probably one of the best people I've ever met. He is remarkably intelligent, although he does a good job of tucking that side of himself away, so as not to offend people who take offense at that kind of thing. He's ostentatious, sometimes crude and cruel, but it's more because of assuming that people are like him than it is explicit malice on his part.
In a lot of ways, he is the yin to my yang. We are congruent in many of our ideas, but not to the point of groupthink or syncophancy. Where we differ, he is a complement to me. He is social where I am solo. He is outgoing where I am retiring. When I wish that I was a nonloner, I wish that I was like him.
I have hurt him, in ways both large and small. I remember the look on his face, out of the corner of my eye, as I kissed the girl he was pining after. I remember worrying that I had ruined our friendship then. I'm not always willing to take time out of my solitude to spend with him, and I know that this hurts him. I wish that I could make him understand that it's not his fault, I'm just like that.
He has hurt me. He dated a girl in college specifically because I had expressed interest in her. He is casually rude sometimes, and leaves me wondering what he's really thinking.
Beau is largely responsible for who I am today. He brought me out of my shell in that first year of college. From a weak start (His first words to me? "What, you're in this class too? Christ, you're so fucking annoying!") we progressed to real friendship. I still remember his madly grinning face as he shoved my shy and nervous ass into the mosh pit at a Watchmen concert at GPRC. He insisted that it was for my own good, although I suspect that at the time he may have had harm on his mind ;)
Meeting people and not fearing that they would hurt me was a new thing then. Having someone other than myself that I could count on to back me up. Trusting anyone at all. These were all of the new things that Beau taught me how to do.
I am not a sociable person. I never will be. But I owe what little skill I have in a social arena to this man.
Beau is my friend, and I'm proud to know him.Tweet